Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
