I'm eating all of the evidence.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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