About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
