not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
