what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
