Grow some girl-balls and come out already
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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