well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
