i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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