Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
