he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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