He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
where does the pee come out of this thing
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
