Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
