I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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