just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
