dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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