Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Who died my cat blue again?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
