I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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