So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
third nipple confirmed
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize