i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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