He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
