This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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