i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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