So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
