also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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