He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
