Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
