WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
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This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
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OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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