she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
