Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
