I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
