you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
