My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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