No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize