Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
