p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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