Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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