When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
