Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
