Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize