I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
