We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
