I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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