I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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