Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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