Can i not drive my cunt home
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
