I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
