Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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