I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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