drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So many bounce houses so little time
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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