a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
