some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize