you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
