Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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