I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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