so that wasnt chicken after all
he thought i was a dude.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
