Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
