good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
